I could be subtle about this, pretend I feel ok and stuff, but sod it. I honestly hate this. I hate packing all my stuff up to go home – and this time it is ALL my *stuff*, cooking equipment, everything. I still need to take all the pictures down from the wall, but I couldn’t bear to do that until last. It’s a complete reversal of everything I did since I got here – ripping away all the things I’ve been accumulating over the year to turn this effective prison cell into _my room_.
*sigh* but more than that, packing to go home is a continous reminder that I AM going home, and not just for the weekend. Rob and Rachel have already gone, and it’s so odd without them around. And I just know that the minute I drive out the university in my dad’s car, I’m going to burst into tears. I’ve been doing that a lot over the last day.
I’m not *entirely* sure why it’s affecting me like this, it’s not going to be forever, and I’m almost certainly coming back and visiting. I guess.. it’s just been a really good year. Yes, there were bad times etc but at the end of it, we’re all still together, and that Chinese meal was a great reminder of that. I’ve learnt a lot (and I don’t just mean the course) and I think grown up a lot too (as well as a bit taller! *grin*).
I think the problem is that I keep thinking it will be like this year. It’s not. Sarah will be here, we’re all in the same 6-person section of the flat, the work starts being *important*. Most of all, Kay might not be here next year. The way it sounds, he probably won’t be. 🙁 🙁 🙁
I don’t care what other people on random IRC channels might think about him, but he’s a sweetie and deserves to be wrapped up in a big fluffy towel and glomped! I probably would have had a very different year if he hadn’t been around in freshers week, and making me —
—- just got SMS message from Rachel saying ‘have a safe journey home cat’ —- damn it, I’m missing people already and I haven’t even left yet! ^;_;^
anyway, making me watch cool films and drink white russians! *grin* Okay, maybe I would have had a more sober and constructive year..;) Nah, seriously, thanks to Kay I settled in fast enough to not ever feel homesick. Thanks to coming back from kay’s house and deciding to drop into the second floor party, I met Rob (who opened the door for me, and we got talking.) and thanks to that, we met Rachel. I just wish we’d met her sooner. And also, albeit it in a very twisted and perhaps convulted way, thanks to Kay, Zak’s going back to college and hopefully making something decent of his life. Kay, I know you’re going to be reading this, so thank you for all of what you’ve done. *glomp* If you bugger off to America without letting me know, I’m going to track you down and beat you over the head with a wet lettuce. (yes, emotions DO affect you brain kids!)
I’ll be watching your live journals if I can get away with it at work, so make sure you eat lots of vegetables and cook your meat properly. (Steak, 8 seconds either side… <:) ) And Kay, I admitt that it's a selfish hope of mine that you will be here next year, but at the end of the day, do what makes you happy and certainly go to that cool place in california if you get the chance. At least that way I can come and have a holiday! *grin* *sniff*