I hate this

I could be subtle about this, pretend I feel ok and stuff, but sod it. I honestly hate this. I hate packing all my stuff up to go home – and this time it is ALL my *stuff*, cooking equipment, everything. I still need to take all the pictures down from the wall, but I couldn’t bear to do that until last. It’s a complete reversal of everything I did since I got here – ripping away all the things I’ve been accumulating over the year to turn this effective prison cell into _my room_.

*sigh* but more than that, packing to go home is a continous reminder that I AM going home, and not just for the weekend. Rob and Rachel have already gone, and it’s so odd without them around. And I just know that the minute I drive out the university in my dad’s car, I’m going to burst into tears. I’ve been doing that a lot over the last day.

I’m not *entirely* sure why it’s affecting me like this, it’s not going to be forever, and I’m almost certainly coming back and visiting. I guess.. it’s just been a really good year. Yes, there were bad times etc but at the end of it, we’re all still together, and that Chinese meal was a great reminder of that. I’ve learnt a lot (and I don’t just mean the course) and I think grown up a lot too (as well as a bit taller! *grin*).

I think the problem is that I keep thinking it will be like this year. It’s not. Sarah will be here, we’re all in the same 6-person section of the flat, the work starts being *important*. Most of all, Kay might not be here next year. The way it sounds, he probably won’t be. 🙁 🙁 🙁

I don’t care what other people on random IRC channels might think about him, but he’s a sweetie and deserves to be wrapped up in a big fluffy towel and glomped! I probably would have had a very different year if he hadn’t been around in freshers week, and making me —
—- just got SMS message from Rachel saying ‘have a safe journey home cat’ —- damn it, I’m missing people already and I haven’t even left yet! ^;_;^

anyway, making me watch cool films and drink white russians! *grin* Okay, maybe I would have had a more sober and constructive year..;) Nah, seriously, thanks to Kay I settled in fast enough to not ever feel homesick. Thanks to coming back from kay’s house and deciding to drop into the second floor party, I met Rob (who opened the door for me, and we got talking.) and thanks to that, we met Rachel. I just wish we’d met her sooner. And also, albeit it in a very twisted and perhaps convulted way, thanks to Kay, Zak’s going back to college and hopefully making something decent of his life. Kay, I know you’re going to be reading this, so thank you for all of what you’ve done. *glomp* If you bugger off to America without letting me know, I’m going to track you down and beat you over the head with a wet lettuce. (yes, emotions DO affect you brain kids!)

I’ll be watching your live journals if I can get away with it at work, so make sure you eat lots of vegetables and cook your meat properly. (Steak, 8 seconds either side… <:) ) And Kay, I admitt that it's a selfish hope of mine that you will be here next year, but at the end of the day, do what makes you happy and certainly go to that cool place in california if you get the chance. At least that way I can come and have a holiday! *grin* *sniff*

Whhee! Little Cat faces!

I like these, and I guess they’re quite suitable 🙂

Even though I still like real foxes a lot more than real cats, but never mind.

It’s not even 9 and I’m awake – I have no reason to, except for going out and enjoying the sun while it lasts, and buying pens suitable for ‘graf’ (graffiti) *art* so I can practice for Andrew. Also, it’s sort of a new challenge I want to have a go at *shrug*

Someone rang to doorbell at 1:45 am. It could have been someone for me, because I realise when I woke up that I still had the light on. It took me ages to get back to sleep, so I want to find out who it was, so I can beat them over the head with a wet lettuce 😉

STEAK WAS GOOD. We will be doing that again!

aaah…… ~relax~

I’m sitting here in nothing but my underwear (no, that’s not a dubious comment, it’s because it’s SO HUMID and I’ve just walked back from town rather quickly..) with a can of VERY cold Grolsch (hey, I know, but *I* like it) and the calm knowledge that the only exam I have left is MEDIA COMPUTING. I have best part of 4 days to learn about 20 or so buzzwords…;)

mmm… formal notations was ok, I’m fairly sure I passed – although Zeng (lecturer) was outside the exam hall when I left, asked me about one of the questions I’d done, and blatantly pointed out a really STUPID mistake. “hah..you didn’t go to group meeeting?” “no, I did!” “well I said it clearly many times not to do that..” “I know, I forgot, I’m sorry.. any *other* mistakes you want to point out?!”

As to AI, I actually fairly enjoyed the exam once I realised the essay questions were not only structured, but the easier of the choices..although I was sat right at the front, right in the middle, 3 feet(at most) from the lecturer, Helen. She was sitting *directly* in front of me! I think is some sort of karmic irony for all the times I’ve moaned about getting wobbly tables and squeaky chairs…:) Although she did say to me afterwards that she likes what I’ve done to my hair(!)

mmm…. la la la .. I get to relax now. Okay, one exam left, but right NOW I get to relax. Poor Rob’s still got a load of exams to do, so Kay and I are cooking dinner..(mmm….steak..)

okay, now I’m starting to get a little cold. I think I’ll put some clothes back on! ^_^

Humanmetrics – Jung-Myers-Briggs-Typology

hmm.. now considering that I /know/ Behavioural/Trait theories of personality are not even remotely the ONLY way to look at personality, and certainly not the definitive way, it doesn’t stop filling in the questionnaires annoyingly addictive and compelling.
Kay found this one, it seems to be one of the more ‘official’ types:
Jung-Myers-Briggs-Typology

It does seem reasonably accurate, perhaps. Apparently I’m like Calvin (as in from Calvin and Hobbes *g*)
More here, and also here. Apparently I am “Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving” which is basically 1% of the population. For those who actually *know* me, this is probably a good thing *grin*

I’m now seriously considering taking up Japanese next year – the only problem is that it’s a 30 credit course, and I only have room for a 15, so I’m essentially overshooting work load in a big way. But then – I would like to learn the language..

Right now I need to learn a completely /different/ language for my exam on monday – it’s called Prolog.
😉

I think the hormones are subsiding a bit, which is very good because I’m fed up with isolating myself for fear of bitching and getting unduly needley while people are doing exams..

GGGRRRRrrrrrr ..sodding hormones ;p

Ngh.. for the last few days I’ve felt like an elastic band. One which has been stretched to /just/ about elastic limit, nailed to the floor and then plucked every so often with a very sharp and pointy pair of barbed wire tweezers.

This is a pain. And yes, this is probably PMT. Ususally though, it just makes me all emotional and cry easily (yes, at one point a pokemon episode almost had me in tears.. 🙂 ) It’s not often I get this stressed out… at the moment I’m sometimes at the point where if anyone touches me at all (eg to try and restrain me from clawing through the walls) then it sends a shock through my body and this urge to just slap the ‘offender’. Very hard. I had Zak hold a load of pillows so I could punch them lots, just to try and get rid of this feeling. Ick.

The worst thing is it makes me snappy and irritable. And I *hate* feeling like this. I couldn’t help but wonder why it happens though (other than the fact I’m not doing nearly enough to revise for exams on monday etc etc). Some sort of evolutionary mechanism to stop copulation at inappropriate times, or just an unfortunate side effect?

As a completely different point, I’m reading this rather interesting book called “Madness of Adam and Eve”, about how schizophrenia and brain fat levels were the cause of initial creativity which brought about humanity. Basically the idea that humanity exists because some of us were mad 😉

Did you know we share 50% genetic material with a banana? Or that the Human Genome Project didn’t decode (list?) the entire human genetic code, just the 5% they think of as useful?

Oh, I also finally have a playstation- got it second hand with *35* games! (and mostly pretty decent ones too 🙂 )

damn esterian and those tests!

What Color is Your Aura?

We don’t need a psychic to tell us that you’re giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn’t ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you’d give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You’re spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren’t colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you’re popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you’re so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you’re constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold.

Catherine, you’re a German Shepherd!

No bones, about it, you’re a loyal, hard-working German Shepherd. Dedicated and always low-maintenance, people flock to you — they know they can count on you to get any job done, and done well. That focus and attention to detail spans from your personal to your professional life, too. Although you can be a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to the projects you tackle, you still manage to keep cool and laid-back in social situations. You get a kick out of the little things and thrive when you’re constantly busy and on-the-go. Easygoing and unpretentious, you don’t need constant pampering and reassurance. A genuine, carefree pup, you’re a true-blue friend, employee, and partner. Woof!

See, NOT a TERRIER 🙂

Superpower

Say what? Your superpower is ANIMAL COMMUNICATION! Many people pretend to talk to their pets, but you can really, truly do it. Have you ever mimicked the monkeys or the penguins at the zoo? If you have, you’re on your way to becoming a great animal communicator, just like Aquaman with his fishy friends. Some people think animal communication has to be vocal. Not so. Any superhero knows that mental telepathy is where it’s at. So while barking at Fido might be fun, it’s not the practice you really need. Instead, try thinking like an animal. When you get into the mindset of, say, a squirrel, you’ll be able to truly communicate with one. Of course it’s a two way street, because you’ll be able to understand everything they say back, too. And they’ve got a lot to tell! Imagine talking to a walrus about the deep ocean or to an ant about life underground. Once you’ve perfected your superhuman gift, you’ll never be without interesting conversation.

hee hee..and finally:

Who wears the pants?

Wow — sounds like this guy is putty in your hands! You call the shots, and he obeys. The scales are totally tipped in your favor. Your wants and needs seem to be the focus of this relationship. That’s flattering, convenient and certainly ego-boosting, but doesn’t it get old? If you really like this guy, wouldn’t you want him to have a say in things? At least occasionally? The imbalance of power in this relationship is so extreme that it points to a lack of respect for him. Either he is so smitten that he’s neglecting his own needs, or he is somewhat of a pushover. Regardless, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. And you might be taking advantage of his need to please. If you think this relationship’s got potential, then maybe you should lower your pedestal just a tad and let him be part of it. If you’re in this just for fun, try not to break his heart — but enjoy the royal treatment!

RIGHT, now I WILL do some revision…meep…exam tomorrow….^_^

Warning – Virus

just to say – I had a virus incident today, and one of the things it does is send itself in an email to random address book members (I noticed coz it sent it through a mailing list I set up) along with and random doc file.

Just don’t open the thing if you get such an email from me.

The most evil thing about this is the fact it chose physiological psychology lecture notes to go with it! :p

“Earthquakes are *scary*!”

ok, just found out that the reason I woke up at a stupid hour in the morning (along with various others) was due to an _earthquake_ occuring 17 miles down in the Bristol channel somewhere North Devon. It was around 3.something on the Richter scale, and caused some minor structural damage. Rather odd…

The more scary thing is that apparently we’re overdue for a larger earthquake – around 5 on the Richter scale- by about 10 years!

As to everything else.. well, I’m making good use of the free out door pool. Yesterday’s exam was fairly..um..lucky I think is the word. Far too much revision to do this weekend, which I need to get back to now!