ARGH. It’s done. And as with everything like this I end up loathing the final product…how all that work and enthusiasm can be reduced down to ‘damn it, can’t be arsed with this anymore’ I still don’t know. At the moment the smell of cheap printer ink fills my room.
In other news, I finally found out what post-modernism actually is. So far it seems to be both cynical and internally ironic. I like it ^_^
More than you wanted to know about Emotions, AI and my Project
Don’t get too excited, it’s from an old sci-fi book I recently finished called “The Alchemical Marriage of Alistair Crompton.” (by robert sheckley)
The main character in the book contracted a ‘viral form of schizophrenia’ when he was young, and had a drastic treatment to cure it called “Massive Cleavage”(yes, I know). Usually this needs to be done before 11 while personalities are ‘still malleable’.
Essentially the patient is put under deep hypnosis and the seperate personalities ‘evoked’. Whatever is deemed to be the ‘dominant personality’ keeps the original body and the rest get put into seperate ‘Durier bodies’ – psycho-receptive growth androids with an estimated lifetime of around 35 years. (Normally the idea is to ‘reintegrate’ at around age 30 if possible)
Alistair, the dominant personality in the book is very rational, and tediously predicatable..he decides to try and track down the other parts of himself which all in all creates quite an amusing and interesting story : keep an eye out in your local second hand book shop!
The question is what do you think your seperate personalities would be? Which is the dominant one? What would each do with it’s life when out of touch with the others? I find these sorts of things quite interesting to consider. If you went back to being 11, was there a different aspect of your ‘malleable personality’ that could have developed instead of what got you to where you are today?
Yeah, I know it’s not real science, but its fun. I’ll be trying to answer those questions myself some future point, ie when my work is done.
In response to Ruin’s post: (thought i’d stick it in my own journal because it goes on a bit)
I love the light in autumn, it’s really golden and somehow comforting. I understand what you mean about harsher seasons…
it’s odd, I keep getting that feeling that I -should- be getting depressed about the rain, and cold and dark evenings, but really I’m not 🙂 . Autumn just seems more interesting, and my favourite weather of all time is “cold, crisp and sunny” which you only really get at this time of year. I like the feeling that winter is coming, I enjoy the contrast of being outdoors and then returning home where it’s warm.
I don’t know if you got all that wind where you are, but it was brilliant round here (even if a few trees fell over). I went up to the highest point I could find on campus and just enjoyed the feeling of wind supporting me…. hmm, maybe autumn is just more tempermental and feminine, in comparison to lazy-arse summer (male? ^_^)
Best of all, I love that -smell- of autumn. Sort of bonfires and leaves and rain drying.. not sure, just that “it smells like autumn smell”.
Thanks Ruin for inspiring me to be happy this morning… I think rather than try and get more literature review done I’ll go for a little walk before my 11am lecture. Much better for me!
Other news: I’m DRAWING AGAIN! I need a scanner so I have some way of getting it into the computer but I’m at a total loss which to get. Preferably something small and compact because I don’t have much space. :/
Just in case my computer dies, or anyone is interested in what I’m trying foolishly to attempt this year, I’ll be sticking odd bits of my literature review and work online as I go along. What follows is an abstract-draft.. and now I’m going back to submerge myself in classical music, caffeine and research papers… deadline 2 days away!
Artificial Emotions : Using Psychology in Synthetic Character Design
I am interested in developing algorithms for character-based AI in a game environment. This is of a different category to strategic AI or chess-playing ; rather than refining specific high-level logical thinking, the aim is to capture life-like behaviour and move towards modelling a complete mind. The result are virtual ‘creatures’ who can perceive and learn about the enivronment on their own, make decisions and in some instances interact with other ‘creatures’ in a limited way.
The applications for this type of AI are becoming increasingly popular in commercial games, and fairly sophisticated designs are emerging. However I believe that to a large extent knowledge from psychology and cognitve sciences about the processes of the mind is being underused or overlooked.
As a specific example I am investigating emotions. Currently ((there are no comprehensive computational models of how emotion interacts with behaviour , and)) ‘Emotional modelling’ in game AI is limited to a diagnostic channel or an aesthetic layer ((on top)) to generate the visual illusion of emotion. However work in psychology indicates that emotions have a deeper effect on decision making and other cognitive processing.
In this literature review I will argue that incorporating the findings from psychology into (((appropriate AI architectures)) the design of AI algorithms will lead to more believable and interesting characters. As well as the practical application, this endeavour also provides a testing-ground for different theories of emotion and their effect on the mind.
I am harder than a diamond,
with the brightness and power
of a thunderbolt; a neon-blue
flame that burns within a
block of ice; the rock, which
stabilizes and serves as your
I am not located within the
world of matter; not even as
the core of cores. If you try
to find me there, you will only
compress what is meant to be
a weightless expression of
yourself as unified spirit.
I am beneath the beneath.
Sense me at your throat
centre: a blue light that is
so dense, that matter is but
a cloud of cobweb in
When you realize my qualities,
I will come forth through your
throat as etheric diamond light,
and you will remember what it
is like to breathe creation
I consume your clothes of illusion
until all that is left is the stark naked
power of pure consciousness. I envelop
you in robes of the universal design.
My vibrant colours speak in tones of
the forever-deep waters of being –
merged with etheric fire.
My emergence reminds you that the
universe ascends in etheric fusion.
Polarities are merged and breathed
from the ether into something new.
I am the diamond light that transforms
liquid light into the cosmic play dough
of creation. Breathe me through the
throat and tongue from the store that
is always open.
Revelation and manifestation are one
and the same; this is divine wisdom.
When you remember me, the ability
to manifest (uncover) new forms is
returned to your awareness; this is
how I empower the powerless: the
ones who have truly surrendered
Your lives transform into a never
ending, bottomless sea of revelation
in which a New World is breathed
into being. Once remembered, I
come forth to free you from the
last remaining traces of
After letting the thoughts settle a little from my last entry, I reckon that physical virginity is difficult if not impossible to define exactly – it depends on your point of view.
I feel there’s still a real concept of virginity though – but the basis is emotional rather than physical.
Personally, I ‘messed around’ quite a lot before *I* felt I lost my virginity. At the time, my concept was the bog-standard ‘vaginal intercourse’ physical definition… but in retrospect that doesn’t matter.
It was more that up till that point I had never -quite- given myself completely..there was always some part, somewhere that i was ‘saving’. (?) My first attempt at ‘actual’ sex was ludicrous, and we both ended up laughing afterwards 🙂 However, those 2 seconds were a really emotional moment of my life because that act MEANT so much. It meant total trust and also the final ‘yes, commitment’ idea.
In which case: virginity: something you define for yourself. Intrinsically emotional and personal to the individual. By this logic it can be possible to have sex in as many ways and as much as you like but still feel a virgin?? Or to put it another way: you need to have an internal concept of what your virginitiy is in order to be able ‘lose it’.
hmm….. i don’t know -where- that thought train went!
..but she’s not here so this will have to do.
This whole thing has been sparked off by a rather random breakfast conversation with Zak in which he made some comment about how men don’t lose their virginity in the same way as women because nothing changes (or something)
Main question: What is virginity anyway?? (best answer so far: a virgin is just a label for someone who hasn’t had sex yet)
If: a woman loosing her virginity is signified by hymen rupture, Then:
Can she loose her V. if she uses a dildo?
What if another woman uses one on her?
If you’re a lesbian from birth do you technically remain a virgin? Why (not)?
What about two men – does anal sex count as loosing your V.?
Does a -woman- loose her V. if taken-up-the-bum? ie penetration but hymen remains intact?
What constitutes a man loosing his v.?
Does oral sex count??
IS IT JUST A STATE OF MIND?? Or, If there is some state of ‘virginity’ and ‘not virginity’ in which case how is it defined?
(ooh..I’ll check the dictionary)
“The condition of being or remaining in a state of chastity; abstinence from or avoidance of all sexual relations; bodily chastity, as a virtue of great commendation, or as conferring especial merit or sanctity; the mode of life characterized by this, esp. as adopted from religious motives. a. Of persons of either sex (or without special limitation of sex). ”
hmm. I guess that covers most things. But I’m still confused.
Maybe I should give my mum a call later for one of those ‘mother-daughter conversations’ she goes on abaout 😉
EDIT: Well, the internet tells all…
Apparently the concept of a hymen as bein important is out-of-date
I’ve started going to T’ai Chi society. Not only that but I’ve been really keen and got up for outdoor T’ai chi 7:30 am by the lakes outside Lafrowda. (not today though: today it was cold and rainy. I’m not -that- keen).
Tai chi, so far, has got a certain amount of emphasis on bringing energy/awareness out of your head and down into you body. Which is something I really need practice with! As to ‘chi’ I’m intensely intrigued because the concept permeates so many practices but yet I don’t know what the scientific explanation is, if there is one.
Certainly the last session I went to I felt a weird sensation all down my arms which I attribute to ‘chi’. Sort of like “((pins and needles) + (hair standing on end))/2”
So, out walking around the beautiful Paignton/Brixham coastal walk sunny saturday I spent more time than usual focusing -down- into my body, and my feet, and not so much floating about in my own little world. It was nice. I impulsively paddled around hands and feet in the gentle waters of a little inlet/cove. If Zak and Marc hadn’t been around to irritate/scare respectively I would have stripped of most my clothes and started swimming about. Yes – I was in ‘that sort of mood’ and it was great 🙂 The stones in the water were big and smooth so nice to stand on, and the shallow water had been kind in warming the sea.
In the same way that focusing on your food while you eat it multiplies the enjoyment 10 fold, I’m learning there’s more to appreciate about outdoors if you concentrate and experience the simple sensations.
I had more to say but my head aches so I’m going to sleep
Certain concepts in life have been hit with some sort of metaphysical mallet, and it’s taking a little time to reboot and readjust. Trying to get back into self-motivate-get-on-with-work is hard right now. But there’s always tomorrow 🙂
Masks obliterate the human personality with all its frail quirks, all it psychological imperfections. Made properly and used with skill on highly charged occasions, the effect on the consciousness of the celebrants can be staggering. Holes can be punched in the rational defenses, and [the wearer] can be made to know that [they are], beyond any doubt, in the company of gods.
Alan Richardson, Earth God Rising
One day I will manage to tie all this together..really.. 🙂