I read somewhere that dreams are something to be valued, at least given more worth than we tend to credit. After all, when you dream, you experience. Okay, you might experience a bizzare world with no real physics nor lucid sense of time, but it’s still real. At least as real as the experience of your waking life.
(If you want to get into it deeper, both experiences are the creation of your mind. With most dreams you don’t ever realise it’s not ‘real’ till you wake up)
For the last few nights I’ve had truly vivid dreams. I’ve been to strange worlds, floated in immense landscapes of ice and stars where if you fall down you end up back at the top; no sense of boundry. I try to fly, and sometimes suceed – for me, it’s always a bit of effort, a bit of chance – I can never truly believe it will work, never quite let go. I’ve dreamed a beautiful stranger standing on a rocky windy coastline, asking me just for a kiss. I’ve mined for quartz by hand in strange underground tunnels. Vivid, full of passion and emotion. (Some might say I’m frustrated, and they’d probably be right)
One thing I’ve noted ; in dreams like these there is always a sense of deep plot, purpose and meaning. This contrasts with my life right now, in which everything seems to be waiting for something else, and where always always is coursework to be done. But I don’t think that’s whats constraining me – I can almost taste the boundries I’m erecting in my mind. I have so much drive, so much intention but yet it seems impossible and difficult. I’m not entirely sure where things are going but I feel that if I don’t make a decision, a solid one, and go -somewhere- I’ll just fall down the cracks.
Now is not the right time to think about this, because above all else I have things to get done in the next few weeks. But I hope to remember that, once I have finished, I will give myself time to consider, make a mental space. I can’t help escape the feeling there is something obvious that I continue to miss.