Gender, Identity and such

You know all my recent ponderings and questions and such on gender, sexuality and so on? Well, I have really enjoyed listening , and thank you for you input because it has helped me a lot, given me some points of reference outside my own limited view.

Well, today Mark-In-Japan popped on AIM and handed me a link to a page which basically sums the whole thing up for me. Most of the things there I have considered before, but that page kinda puts its altogether a bit more concisely than I could.

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a couple of added comments/highlights
“Your gender is a focus point for your consciousness grounding you in nature through the powerful force of sex and procreation. Your sexual qualities are a part of you, they do not define you.”
While I can see that your identity should not be constrained by cultural gender concepts, I DON’T follow that this means we should become all asethetic (sp?) gender neutral abstract entities. For me, my biological gender IS important in that its part of my body, and my body is what keeps me -grounded- and where all these things come together. Being a woman is not so much defining me, but an expression of me and in some way the main focus-gronding point between hazy mental trains of thought and the physical reality. I don’t think it healthy to deny your body. There is something else I know about this which I can’t put into words yet…

..its somewhere in this (rather interesting if controversial) passage though.

In the west we think that live in a such a liberal and open culture where we see sex everywhere blatantly displayed and worshiped. Yet in reality we are sexually excessive while at the same time being gender repressed. We are psychologically trapped by our cultures limiting gender expectations and
classifications. In a truly liberal culture there would be far less homosexuality and lesbianism, far less debasement and denigration of human sexuality and far less loveless sex. In a gender liberal culture a person would be accorded respect and acceptance as an individual first and as a male or female individual second. This type of gender freedom would create a variety of role model options for each gender to identify with, so that the majority of people could begin to live genuinely and without self reproach or recrimination and without having to either deny nor exaggerate their inherent psychological traits and qualities.

I have to admitt that I do have mixed feelings about homosexuality (in theory more than practice?). It’s not that I think it’s BAD in itself, but more I take issue the often-implied tennant that “(simply by virtue of the fact we are gay, it means) our love has transcended the classic boundaries of gender! ” when actually I don’t think that follows at all. I think there are just as many problems and entrappments and repressions going on in what seems so often to be potrayed as “a people liberated!”.–(edit: stupid stupid stupid girl!!! what are you saying! I will leave the rest in tho) Straight people, gay people, bi people, whatever, I think everyone has to learn about accepting and loving the person ‘within’ the body/perceptions/assumptions. This includes YOU as well as someone else.

doo be do de dum…. 🙂

“I don’t do drugs, I *am* drugs” – Salvador Dali

phew.

I was insane this morning, for a bit – crazy hormones and mind thoughts and stuff. It sorta builds to a peak, and the world becomes a weird weird place. And then, like the moment a hangover lifts, it goes. I can TELL when period starts because suddenly I feel like ‘me’ again. A calmness.

The next few days are about clearing space and providing nurturing.

I have a plan, to write down on little bits of paper, all the things I am attached to, things I love and things I hate, things I have grown out of things I need : everything. I am going to take them to the top of glastonbury tor, and before the sun rises I will rip them up and set fire to them – let them go. Let it all go and relax. I am not taking any books with me, just paper and a pencil. I am not planning to do anything, just to sit and watch. I am deliberatly planning hours of nothing into my life.

Oh – and I have a story to write. 🙂

——death

While I’m on the subject of deaths, Caroline, an irish lady I work with mentioned she got a phone call last night and was told a frirend of hers died. 37 years of age about? One of those mutual long-distance friends you don’t see very much. He had loads of money, swimming pool, and a string of attractive women. They used to joke about the fact everytime they visited his house, there was a different lady hosting the evening. He had everything but wasn;t happy, classic story..very stressed out. Over christmas he was complaining about headaches, went to the optician… turns out he had a tumor growing behind his eye. Caroline is convinced it is because he had so much stress and pain that he couldn’t let go off.

She commented on how it is she never goes to weddings or christenings any more, just funerals; and how it is interesting to notice these different stages of life.

————–thank *you*

Right now, I amazed how much help and support I’ve had from people’s comments on my LJ but also disconnected things they have written on their own journal. Poems, thoughts, feelings, songs… so many things that have been good to hear. And have helped! So much of it tha I can’t begin to comment on all the ideas, don’t know where to begin. but I am just..thankful. And inspired.

I wish I could send you all a little hinged box made from a walnut shell, that when you open it, there is a tiny living butterfly inside, wings of your favourite colour, shape, and pattern. The butterfly softly climbs out, onto your hand, as light as feather. Up she walks, to the very end of a finger tip, opening and closing wings a few times before fluttering away. That would best express my feelings and thanks 🙂