Guess the poem!

I remembered this earlier today when writing a comment on Kay’s Livejournal. 3 Gold Stars for anyone who can tell me the name of the poem , and the authour.. 🙂

(nb- pole in this case is referring to the pole(north?) star.. I think the rest is obvious enough)

I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night
Till it bore an apple bright —
And my foe beheld it shine.
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole.
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.


everything today is just being so… lethargic. Even the database servers are being sluggish. (more so than usual)

I feel like my mind is slowly dissolving into mulch. I’m contemplating writing some essays based on the book I’ve just finished reading, ‘Madness of Adam and Eve’, just to give my brain something to do.

The people here have just gone off to interview someone for the job to replace me… I don’t know what I’ll be doing then.

ooh.. just had someone come and ask me about doing a diagram in wordpro. I’ve offered to do the whole thing for them just because I have nothing else to do! I’m that bored!

Only a few hours left to go..

Whee! Cat girls

In the interim between drawing an updated image (one with shorter hair) and now, I will be using a variety of cat-girl pictures 🙂 (I was bored this morning with nothing else to do… just be glad I settled on cat-girls and not bishounen men pictures..)

I can change what picture to use, but I’m not sure where exactly it will show.. probably just the friends list I’m guessing.

Idea of the day : Digital Sundial (one of Sam’s ideas..) that has a second hand amongst other features.

Sometimes, things aren’t as bad as they seem…

Leaving work yesterday I felt completely run down. I think this is something which happens when you start getting up at 6:45 and working full days. I was seriously considering taking the day off today before I got ill from it… but I didn’t, because I couldn’t let this sodding job ‘defeat me’.

I was talking to Josie yesterday; she’s currently working for the NHS (the free-but-overworked National Health Service for non-uk ppl) over summer. In a clinic that deals with drug abusers and alcoholics. It looks like she’s going to get promoted from typing up doctor’s notes or letters to a receptionist who deals with under 18 year old drug addicts. It all makes working in a office seem so pointless and trivial in comparison – Josie’s typed up letters about people who have been having treatment since they were 18 – in the 60’s. Now they’re 50. She’s spent ages looking for someone’s file for reporting purposes, only to find that the reason it doesn’t exist is because that person died.

Interestingly enough, her job and my kinda tie together. You see, for kid addicts/abusers there are two distinct groups. Those who come from deprived backgrounds or council estates etc ; and also those that the doctors there refer to as ‘IBM kids’. The ones whose parents are working REALLY hard to give them everything they could need or want; everything but their time.

Working here, at IBM, I can see all to clearly how much such pointless existence takes over people’s hours, and days, and weeks, and ultimatly lives. Some people get to 40 with no family or friends (since they just don’t *do* anything by the time they get home); their life IS their work, and vica versa… whereas others *do* have kids, who may well end up at Josie’s reception desk asking for a methadone prescription… The sad thing about these cases is the parents don’t understand how it can happen when they’ve just worked *so hard*.

I am slowly realising that all my jokes about ‘selling my soul to IBM’ for a few months may have more truth to them than I realised at first. I am really going to make the most of university of the next two years..

All in all though, I’m glad I went to work. It’s sunny, and I’m going down to the pub with Sam for lunch. He’s given me adobe photoshop 6, and the book I ordered from the library has arrived. I think I’ve broken through some kinda ‘pain barrier’ in getting used to this job.. certainly if it ever starts feeling *too* bad, I just need to think about the work Josie is doing…

Finally, a link for those DDR/fighting game fans:

Violent DDR?

Seconds after submitting that journal entry, we had a power surge and *everything* went off! hee! My phone hasn’t come back online yet, which means no call-taking for me for a while 🙂 And I have my book to read, it’s sunny outside, and things are pretty damn good.

The joy of tantra?

ooh… nice weekend, with an extra half day on friday to go home and have fun in the sun and such 🙂

Got a little stressed/exhausted by the time I hit friday evening due to job being a bizarre mixture of brain-straining and lack of actually achieving anything at all. Luckily Zak (who had turned up on Thursday) and was around to help me calm down and generally destress. This is one of those times that it helps having a balance in personalities…

Went and got both Austen Powers movies from the library and watched them both, so now I will *get* all the in-jokes. They weren’t bad films either..

Sarah’s 19th Birthday on sunday – got on the guest list for the night club she works at in Bognor Regis; thankfully she got the night off and 2 free extra strong cocktails (complete with numerous umbrellas, bits-o-fruit, stirrers, straws etc) from her friends who work in the cocktail bar. This made her very drunk very quickly. It was an interesting club, being on a pier, but I enjoyed myself more going outside and looking at the sea because the music was *terrible*.

Went and watched ‘Bognor Birdman’ on sunday – a mixture of people jumping off the end of the aforementioned pier. The was a mixture of people doing charity jumps (my favourite was this blond girl dressed up as a ‘flying tit’ who had a huge furry breast strapped to the front of her and tried to fly by waving two pink feathers lots) to quite ingenious contraptions that were designed to actually fly. And there was something quite inspiring to see these ones *Work*.

Had lunch in a park. Saw a really old lady being pushed in a wheelchair look up at this tiny baby being carried by a young couple walking in the opposite direction. The smile on the old ladies face struck something in me, I just can’t quite figure out what..

Very very nice afternoon once I got back home and tidied everything up. Got round to trying out the tantra massage techniques from here (for women) and here. (for men)

Those things are GOOD. As in REALLY, REALLY good.
I used to do a fair bit of T’ai Chi, and thus know a certain amount about energy and getting into deeply relaxed but yet invigorated states. These massages were… the same thing but with two people involved. (hard to describe..hmm..) Put it this way, it was probably the nicest, gentlest, closest, most gorgeously intimate sensual experience I’ve ever had with another person in my life. This includes both giving *and* recieving a massage…
Better than sex? I think so. I was feeling the benefits of it all evening. On the other hand, if tantric /massage/ felt like that, I wonder what the other, ‘more advanced’ techniques would be like! ^_^

Evenings with Josie and Lizzie

Are very pleasant. We went down to the white horse for a drink last night (Really REALLY needed it!) and talked about life, the universe and everything – topics from younger siblings to bipolar condition to ectasy to the agricultural revolution!

We came back and managed to watch the first hour or so of ‘Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’ DVD – I *love* that film! It’s a lot less silly since Josie pointed out that the Martial Art they do is based around the idea of flying, which is why they zoom around on wires. Also, I mentioned that the ‘dark cloud’ blokey that has the thing with Jen reminded me of Zak and I wasn’t sure why – to have Josie say ‘oh my god, he reminded *me* of zak too, I just wasn’t going to say anything!’
After a bit of analysis we figured it was the same patheticy expressions and such. *shrug*.

Had a long conversation with Lizzie and managed to untangle some old stuff. The ultimate answer makes absolutely no sense at all, but I’m starting to accept that sometimes things just ARE.

Just been havinga good old rant with the people I work with about the dodgy booking system. Which was nice. People are around more today, so it should be a lot less stressfull than yesterday! And I’m taking Zak out for a celebratory meal tonight if he comes down to visit, with Josie, Lizzie and maybe Fiona too. I was thinking I should ask Helen as well, it would be nice to see her – I’ve also got the Sailor Moon tapes which Mark borrows sitting in my house…


This should net him AT LEAST 1,312 pounds (still not got %)*!)* pound key working on this keyboard) by the time the course starts. And can carry on after that as well!

You can find out more about it Ruadh’s journal (see my friend’s list).

Now they both have jobs!
This is VERY good, and a HUGE weight of my mind. Let’s just hope Rob can get a job now.

Oh, last night was good. Parents left to go on holiday. I turned music up to floor-vibrating-loudness and danced about half-dressed. Why? *because I can* *muah hahahahahaha etc*

Please let me go home now. Please?

There’s this thing in the entrance to the canteen here which looks like a 2 foot diameter Ball Bearing half embedded in the ceiling. Sam and I don’t know what it is – and then it occured to us. A Shiny Ball of Death. It can read of the mondex chips on our ID cards and, if programmed to do so, fry naughty individuals as they go to get their morning coffee. OR it drops out and unrolls, Star-wars episode 1 style into killing robots o’ death.

By far the most freaky idea is that it will float after you, in a Prisoner-esq fashion. Anyways, Sam’s going to include this in his “Pervasive Engineering” work and set up the web page listed above. Just feed it the ID numbers of people you don’t like, and whatever that Ball thing is, it will get rid of them.

There’s lots of odd things here. We noticed 2 pulsating ceiling tiles in the canteen here – going in and out very slightly like something BIG was breathing behind them.

Yes, it’s been a _very_ _stressful_ day. I have so much to do, I can’t even find the time to write my manager a note to complain. Okay, so I have time to write this *shrug*. Just don’t ask.