Recipe for Happy Cat (1)

Take one humid, sunny day.
Add a few gallons of outdoor swimming pool, free use, by uni accomodation.
Stir in assortment of sexy boys and girls(age 18-25)

Marinate for one hot afternoon.

To this encorporate sufficient confidence to wear bikini (blue)
Jump in and idly swim about in no particular direction.

Enjoy slowly until sun starts setting..

“I’m -not- oggling, I’m studying anatomy for artistic purposes”


Last night I went to my first ever poetry reading. It was set inside a small box shaped room painted entirely black; lit only by the spotlights which shone onto the poets. It was what they called ‘open poetry’; the main feature was Christopher Southgate (taught the ‘science and religion’ course I’ve now completed) reading out poems from his books. However other people also went to the front and read out their own work.

It was a fascinating experience, watching snapshots of people’s lives. The poetry varied from sheep on dartmoor, to schrodinger’s cat to ‘why is sex so noisy?'(with guitar accompaniment!). The people also varied, some looking like typical poet types with dangly earrings or red jumper+shirt combos, young people, old, all types. This attractive young guy with a build like a bouncer and piercings in each ear stood up and read out a sonnet about his mother.. rather surreal.

Its also nice to hear people read out their own words, it just feels more real than reading from a book. Its all just more *invovled* – when particularly deep poems are finished you hear appreciative noises and ‘mmmmm…’ sounds, and the occasional applause. Very friendly and supportive too.

I came away from it feeling just that bit more connected to everyone else around me. I looked at the people on their way somewhere in the night, and thought ‘they too will have their own poems to tell, whether or not they ever express them in words’. Life itself is poetry, and human life, REAL human life is so varied, complex and emotional that just seeing it in that light fills me with a sort of awe and humbleness.

It’s always good to extend your horizons. 🙂

looking at nature

argh, I hate that model I wrote yesterday, it misses the point. If anything all its really done is begun to prepare the mental platform from which I can start building from.

You see, I’m actually getting back ON to the point now, and many of you will be pleased to know it doesn’t need the positing of any external entities, spiritual explanations and general wishy-washy gap-filling. (on the other hand its not just reducing away all of that, if anything the opposite)

It involves just -looking- at nature and how it actually works. The point is that is so unbelievably incredible that there is no real line between ‘god’ and ‘existance’ or something like that… damn, I give up with words. blim.

I’m either at the beginning of some real understanding here, or I actually am going insane. I will try to keep updates on what I’m putting together so you can watch what happens…

I wish I was better at expressing myself.

“The majority believes that everything hard to comprehend must be very profound. This is incorrect. What is hard to understand is what is immature, unclear and often false. This highest wisdom is simple and passes through the brain directly into the heart” – Viktor Schauberger

model of universe v.2.1

bloop. Thinking about this made my head ache and so I stopped, ate, and drank enough wine to stop myself thinking properly. (oh, how those buddhists would disprove).

This is just the first bit if you like. I have more to say about how people work, but not right now.

disclaimer: I have to try and put together a model for my exam. Its not going to well because I just end up with more questions. What I’ve said here is perhaps 70% what I think and 30% trying to get towards some sort of coherant explanation of god.

disclaimer 2: I’ve not really got onto my ‘model’ yet, mostly I’ve just been whining about why its going to be good.

disclaimer 3: thoughts -in progress-

now I will sleep.

catherine takes the universe apart with a spoon(version2.1)

Middle way?

The people who are really looking are beginning to see.
What they see is coming together;
strands of thread in a common tapestry.

The problem is, if you try to see too hard, if you think too far,
you miss the point entirely.

My intuition is getting somewhere, but once I place it into words it dies.
All I can do is cry or laugh or both; expression without words
it’s not enough.


I need to be SO CAREFUL, and yet I feel so clumsy. it’s like I’m trying to catch a feather with concrete boxing gloves on.

Further down the rabbit hole

feeling very much ‘in-line’ with life right now, letting it take me where and when ; subsquently I’ve stumbled on some good ideas for my ‘model-of-the-cosmos’

– childhood
– belief
– imaginatation
– creative cycles

But even better I stumbled across a second hand book “Mister God, this is Anna”. For the tiny price of 75p I’ve read the true wisdom from a remarkable 6 year old girl.

Maths, language, God. It comes together, somewhere (here)

Children amaze me, and I can remember in myself how the world worked and how I built my realities with the full knowledge that they were at once a game but more, a truly believed in game . We forget that just because we live in a social, conforming game that thousands of other adults believe in that its not any less of a game. hmm.. no time to persue this now. I’m off to find out what a planetarium is.

children -know- how reality works. and they don’t need the same made-up safety god of adults. They are, perhaps, in touch with the ‘real’ god, and we just forget how belief and creativity really work when we get older.. how to really live, to be, to LAUGH and hence truly ..something..not quite coherant yet, but give me time.

do you believe in god?