I have been so blessed and nurtured by the Heroines group started by Thea Eurphaessa — meeting mythic, intelligent, sexy women and sharing tales and inspirations.
One such woman was talking about getting married to herself, which I thought was absolutely brilliant. I mentioned a few years back I got engaged to myself for a while.. I don’t know where the ring went but it was silver and had spirals on it. I wrote in my journal words to myself, and she asked if I’d share it. So here it is. I’ve not even read it for a couple of years, but I’ve been finding in the midst of deepening relationship to a man the twin path of committing ever more to myself..so timely.
There are two parts- one was the inner masculine writing to me as an emerging woman. Then my promise as a woman getting engaged to myself. As I typed it out I’m struck by how those words apply again now, and of all the journeying since 2009(!) how long it has taken to bear the fruits of those promises – I feel them coming now, I feel forming finally the woman who I actually love, not the girl seeking approval.
“This Ring (message from me/my inner male? to myself/my woman :))
This ring is a symbol of commitment, of perseverance.
Commitment to exploring the depths and heights of our love, perseverance through the cycles and changes of life.
Are you ready to take this step?
I can see you are trembling. Fear not, for I want not to bind you or limit your being. Only for you to claim responsibility for your actions and to act from complete integrity.
For I am ready to love a Woman, not look after a child. To wear this ring is to claim and state that you are a woman now.
A child demands and runs around, taking no heed of others.
A woman enjoys the pleasures of life – but unrushed and aware. She is in charge, even to her surrender. She is not a whimsical girl, but strong in herself and certain in her actions. Are you ready to make this commitment?
A woman recognises her limitations as she stands in the centre of her power – saying yes or no with clarity and decisiveness. She knows her value and treats herself, her heart-body-mind with utmost respect. Can you do this?
I love you so much, I am your Protector but I can not always be there. Be watchful and keep your guard up – protect yourself with the ferocity of the she-wolf – let no one take advantage of your love and beauty. A woman is ready to fight if she has to.
Are you ready?
I do not want to see wanton abandonment, for you, the spark of your soul, is lost in these moments. Stay aware – aware of who you are and what you are doing. You are precious and deserve to be well.
Do you agree?
This ring is not to bind you, but to remind you of my love, which is here to support you – not to continue as a child, but to be walking in this world as a woman. A woman in her power, in control and taking responsibility. I will love you as I see you dance in this integrity. I can approach you as a man in respect and love, in thankfulness and awe. You can tell me anything and I will hear it. I ask for honesty with yourself and me. Do not keep me separate – I am part of your life, wear this ring and be reminded. Come to me first – come to me and ask for your Desire – I can be anything that is needed. I love you. I want to witness the full expression of who you are, in a way that is powerful and life affirming, where our love can flow.
This ring is to keep you present, so I may continue to see you and love you.
—– Promise of a woman engaging herself:
I make the promise now I should have promised long ago. I promise to honour and love and respect my self, in full spectrum. I promise to be honest with those I love and walk my path with integrity – I promise to say NO when I mean no! I promise to always make space for the truth of my heart. To not sacrifice love on the altar of instant gratification. As long as I wear this ring I am committed to myself, to being-becoming the woman I am, for I am needed in my power and clarity. I will perservere to the end.
I may still leap, but I promise to consider the consequences first. I claim full responsibility for my life.
This ring is the symbol of life, of woman in all her aspects. I am ready to be her. I promise to honour my yoni, my sacred temple. I promise to honour the power of my sex and use it for life and pleasure, not for manipulation and control. It is here for those I love, for myself, for my life and my power. So mote it be.”